Saturday, February 14, 2015

Top 10 Best Vibratos of All Time

The vibrato. That slippery wave at the end of a vocal phrase. A supernatural fluttering, like the tiny wings of invisible birds attached to the business end of a strong verse,struggling for flight or wavering towards rest in the solemn pillowy quiet.
Something some vocalists discover quite by accident, as natural as an exhale with smooth speed bumps, others train for years ruminating on scales and breath calisthenics, aching for control..find it hitchhiking along with the words and melody culled from some basement poetry or stranded thought scribbled in the invisible margin of a napkin with fresh coffee ring... these masters squeeze it through fibrous membrane, like tonal juice dripping off the tongue in a tiny tidal push toward the space between the ambient noise and the auto-tuned trickery of the desperate vocal gymnast.... 
To the listener it is the magic sprinkled on the end of a message, it is the smooth landing or the exhalted energy bursting from a shaky phrase. It is the poise, power and precision of the best of the best. a perfect vibrato can either warm your weary bones or chill them in magnificent awe.

Here are my top ten vocal vibrato masters. In no order of importance but with keen emphasis on power, beauty or control. Those with the most divine natural fluidity and delivery.

1) Burton Cummings- The canuck with the coolest pipes. lead singer of the Guess Who. Try and listen to "Laughing" , "Undun" or even his solo hit "Stand Tall" without the gooseflesh rolling in sync with his uncanny vocal glimmer.

2) Freddie Mercury- The greatest rock vocalist to ever inhabit this mortal coil(IMHO). And if he wasn't he would make the list for his performance on "Somebody to Love " alone. Quite possibly the greatest vocal take ever put to tape.. So many tricks in his arsenal, yet such beauty and power in his sly vibrato. Here we go.."Save Me", "Don't Stop Me Now", "Killer Queen", "Play the Game", fuck it...too many to list. We bow to you Fred. We will never be worthy.

3) Ray LaMontagne- The words flow like slowly melting butter from Ray's mouth washing over your moment in warm comfort. A complete natural, stunning control, effortless delivery. "Trouble", and "Be Here Now" are great starting points for you in the dark out there....

4) Alison Krauss -Alison's voice is like free transportation for anywhere you want your mind to go. A gossamer like blanket on a cold but windless day, a hovering hummingbird just outside an open ear..."Killing the Blues(with Robert Plant)", "Lay My Burden Down(With Union Station)"...restful poise for the restless.

5) Steve Marriott- of all the one of a kind vocalists on this list, Steve's voice confounds me(in a very good way) the most, because of his pitch and strength of delivery in the phrases. With the Small Faces and Humble Pie he possessed the combination of a cigarette rasp and the burst of high speed vibrato, unparalleled and at his mercy. No voice ever like it before or since...Check out "I'm Ready"(Live From Performance: Rocking the Fillmore) , "Black Coffee", and "Rolling Stone"(also from the Performance album)'ll be pleasantly exhausted.

6) Brian Ferry- OMG. Brian could very well be my spirit animal if I had any say in the choosing. The Roxy Music frontman has one of the most unique voices on the planet(not in a Bjork-like jump out a window sort of way). A stoccatto vibrato with machine gun tempo, but bullets wrapped in velvet, exploding in orgasm on impact. "The Thrill of It All", "Love is the Drug", "Ladytron", "Re-Make/Re-Model", "For Your Pleasure".

7) Tim Buckley- Tim(father of Jeff) had his own topsy turvy career with gamut run from ethereal folk to experimental jazz and his voice was even more of a freak of natural occurrence. The extraordinary vibrato he possessed was stealthy and brewing from a place of disparate pain, but no less powerful for it. "Cafe", "Dream Lover","Song to the Siren", "Once I Was", "The River" will do you real good.

8) Stevie Nicks- In my dreams, your dreams everybody else's dreams and the dreams of those who aren't even born yet...lies a place for sweet Stevie and her wonderful voice. Yeah, she's lost a little power, klonopin and coke will do that to anyone. But in her glory years, whirling like a dhervish behind the whoosh of delicate lace, she could belt out the most glorious coo-like vibrato fine tuned for any emotion needed.."Seven Wonders", "Gypsy" and "Gold Dust Woman" for release, and "Sara" "Dreams" and "Landslide" for the moody drift of introspection. If only I could catch the wind from one of her twirls.............

9) Antony Hegarty- lead singer of Antony and the Johnsons. This androgynous doughy delight has unbelievable control over his vibrato, with a low key, almost low end operatic sensibility. Amazing tone and ease akin to Bryan Ferry with sweeping blips of whirr in mid phrase, but with twice the dramatic implement.
A must to seek out for his style alone, dig deep to find "Hope There's Someone" and "You Are My Sister".

10) Jeff Buckley- from the loins of father Tim, Jeff's almost limitless vocal talent sure leaves me to think there may be some genetic link going on here, not just some boy who lost his dad at an early age and listened to a lot of records. Everyone knows his take on Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen...but give the astounding presence of songs like "Lover You Should Have Come Over", "A Satisfied Mind", "Lilac Wine", "Everybody Here Wants You", "Forget Her" a try if you feel like stopping in your fucking tracks for a while.  We miss you Jeff.....and Tim...and Freddie...and Steve.

Who did I miss.......let me know,   Seano

Monday, December 29, 2014

Best-Ofs and Biggest Disappointments of 2014

This post is fairly under the wire, but I'm gonna get it in anyway. It wasn't a very busy year for content at Circle of Fits, in fact this is only my 20th and final post of the year. Must be the binge watching binges or the new vinyl addiction that kept me away from the posts....anyhow here are a few of my picks for the Best-Ofs and Biggest Disappointments of 2014.

Best Albums of 2014

I should use the word "Favorite" or the phrase "Listened to More Than Once" but Best-Of will do for now.

1) Manipulator-Ty Segall: Look out Mr. White, this is your new Jack of all Trades. At 27 he puts out an average of 3 albums a year as singer, guitarist and drummer in several psych/garage/fuzzed out/space folk projects. This year, manipulator had something for everyone of his fans. A highly listenable, and slightly refined version of the bullet points of his talents.

2) Lazaretto-Jack White- Not as much oomph as we wanted, but still the best and biggest Rock Star we have these days. I just wish his pretty vinyl wasn't so expensive.

3) Once More 'Round the Sun- Mastodon- The riffolympics continue for these" metalled" athletes from the ATL. Not as singable as The Hunter, but crushingly as beautiful.

4) Midnight Sun- The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger- A highly underrated pop/psyche rock outing from Sean Lennon and Charlotte Kemp Muhl. I wonder if Sean is ever going to not be compared(in an unfair negative way) to Pops because this fine tuned cornucopia of beautiful pop soundscapes certainly holds its own.

5) Morning Phase-Beck- I could not escape comparing this to my fav Sea Change(as did many other lazy writers) and ended up not caring as much.There's just not enough heartbreak(damn you, happily married family man Beck!) But it will be number One on my second chance records of next year.

6) Bad Self Portraits-Lake Street Dive- I hopped on the bandwagon for this one and the ride has been as pleasant as one of a dog's with an open window. This Boston bred Indie soul/jazz band has one of the best singers I've heard in years with the stunning Rachael Price. And they dress really well.

7) Royal Blood- Self Titled- Merely a rhythm section but one that leaves you wondering how a clean cut duo can crack open the fucking sky with no pulled punches and sonic bomp like that.

8) The Beast of Left and Right- Lazer/Wulf- I luv this twisted wreck without a crash experimental metal trio. The only thing they are experimenting on in their audiences, who lay wet and dazzled by their dark array of metal math spit out  like binary on fire.

9) The Voyager-Jenny Lewis- Maybe its the slight ginger with a guitar fetish I possess, or maybe it's just because she writes great songs (with or without the help of Ryan Adams), I don't miss Rilo Kiley at all.

10) Stay Gold-First Aid Kit- Sisterhood from Sweden. Very clean and enjoyable indie folk with a lilt to it.

Biggest Disappointments of 2014

1) Green Day gets the RRHOF nod and Richie Blackmore has not gone all Blackmore's ninja Knight and put a flaming arrow in between Billy Joe's hot topic inspired eyeliner.

2) Billy Corgan- The most thin skinned self absorbed blowhard that the 90s has ever produced. This cranky cretin actually thought Tommy Lee was a good drummer and wrestling was legit while slagging hard working vets like the Jam and Foos. He cannot just shut up and play his guitar.

3) Bob Lefsetz- Bob, I used to love your letter but not all musicians want to be big bloated rich superstars, not all musicians want to embrace streaming or social media, not all people care about ski trips, Apple and Pop stars.

4) Thom Yorke- another year, another collection of glitch blip and beep with half howled unintelligible laptopped lyrics over them. Here and gone like the last one. Hacking soundtracks. More ZZZZ from the 10101010.

5) The embracement of Fatassery- Is this bootylicious part two, Iggy, Nikki, JLo, Beyounce and  Ms. Trainor? You have the cache to have on call trainers, video editors and PR people to keep your butttastic statements on the positive side..most people who struggle with their weight don't necessarily want to be proud of it, no matter how you spin it.

6) Sting- because Sting is a disappointment every year.

7) Mark Lanegan's latest album - Mark, your current live band was the best youve ever had...where were they when you recorded this album? A whole album's worth of a drum app was too much of too little for me.

8) Taylor Swift was on the cover of Time magazine, Taylor Swift was everywhere. Are her talents that massive? Or is her team made up of very powerful 19-25 year old PR people. Are the journalists all tweens? Who the fuck over the age of 21 care about Taylor Swift? What percentage of the REAL GENERAL TASTE CONSCIOUS PUBLIC give a flying fuck about this girl?  Once again, Taylor Swift was on the cover of Time Magazine.

9) Brody Dalle- I love her, but let's stop calling her a punk icon at this point. Her latest album was VERY experimental and nobody had the balls to say it. Mostly sung in a washed out hush of a voice wayyyy out of her comfort zone, the songs(most of em) fell short of anything everybody knows that shes capable of..

10)  The "Serial" Podcast hype....I mean at this point it's comical. Hey lookey here!!! I guess the world REALLLY dicovered podcasts this year...AHEM..theyve been around since about 2003-4, shit I even had one! 9 years ago!!!  But really now, the crime was boring, the characters were boring, the ending was apparently boring, and if it hadn't been produced by Ira Glass nobody would have cared. This is hipsters getting a clean hush voiced radio version of what Nancy Grace and a plethora of true crime trash TV shows have been doing for years....

11) This years Season of Louie- excuse me, I wonder if you could help me find my laughs anywhere? Lots of serious contemplative stuff like the "fat girl dating" and the extremely boring Non English speaking Non girlfriend. Yay, she did a duet on the violin with my daughter? Yay I saved Ellen Berstyn in an elevator twice!!!  Thank goodness for Pamela Adlon salvaging the game in the final inning.

12) Prince's afro or Prince's bad mustache? I can't decide.

13) Hozier = Magic= Goyte.  If you don't know what this means youre doing great.

14) Boyhood. The kid didn't take one acting lesson and he had 12 years to do it.

15) Jimmy Page- Refused a booking on Howard Stern (who's interviews with top tier rockers are mostly great, very few dick jokes or pleading for threesome stories). Phoned in a highly hyped Bio which turned out to be a Picture Book...haven't we seen all the pics of Jimmy/Zep that we need/want to see at this point? And reportedly HAND STAMPED those books at signing events for the fans who waited in line after paying 70 bucks retail for the fucking thing.  The remastered remastered remasters with the NEVER BEFORE HEARD unfinished demos was a bit of a cash grab too.

16) Robert Plant- Just say you can't hit the notes anymore and people will stop asking.

17) Imagine No Imagine Dragons.

18) Neil Young- Ditches Pegi for crazy, goes coocoo for Pono and writes a book about all the fucking cars he loves. Neil, the cars and trains were the parts of Waging Heavy Peace that made it a huge bore fest....

AND BY THE WAY ALL ROCKERS ABOUT TO WRITE A BIO...Please call Keith. Ask for pointers.

19) Ryan Adams and his perfectly messed up hair. We know you have a stylist.

20) Slipknot- rethink the masks. It ruined the already pathetic Kiss and that's what we're hoping for.

21) Wayne Coyne- Running neck and neck with Billy Corgan in the Douchbag of the decade race...stay tuned to see who wins.

22) David Gilmour- Just couldn't leave the island he owns long enough to put fucking lyrics on the "NEW PINK FLOYD ALBUM". Now playing in dentist office lobbies everywhere.

23) Morrissey- Shut up, eat a fucking sandwich or get laid you cocky twat. You're running out of places to play and columns to fill.

24) Goodbye Jack, Joe, Ian, Bobby, Johnny, Tommy and.....Malcolm. We hardly knew ya.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

This is Not A Dog Park, Bitch.

As I write this, I cannot stress the importance of your input, advice and or criticism. So please add your fill.....

I'm a curmudgeon. it's no secret, folks. I feel it to the marrow, I fly the flag. I have had intermittent lucid hours of what others would calm calmness or clarity, or god forbid, happiness throughout the years and I love a good laugh just like everyone else. I would be much less of a man without humor. But my thought provoked reality normally teeters towards glass half empty, glass full of curdled milk or glass nowhere to be found. Years of therapy have uncovered the truth under my litany of excuses for it. The bitterness is not a pill swallowed for comfort or attention. Bitter is a large part of my personality. Oh, well.

So with that said it makes the next few paragraphs easy to write, consequences be damned.

Disclaimer: I like most dogs. I had a dog for 15 years that I think about more than often. I wish my living situation was one that would allow me to still have one, but it is not. So I'm stuck with these cats who shit indoors and keep me up at night. yet I still love them. This I am capable of admitting. As for canines, I think some have more positive features than the humans that take care of them. I think, just like humans, there are good dogs and bad dogs, that may or may not have been born that way. I encountered bad people and their horrible dogs today(one in particular).

I took my son to a local park at his request this afternoon. One we frequent, as it is close and he seems to like it. It is a park in the lovely idyllic-to-a-fault Chestnut Hill section of Philadelphia. Lots of privilege, blue bloods and young couples with babies who can't quite handle anything more than a quiet street and a well deserved parking space. It is also a well known spot for people to bring their dogs and let them go nuts with balls, sticks and squirrels. However....nowhere does a sign exist proclaiming that this is allowed or not. So the dogs run free. That is the legality of it I assume.

We were doing our recreational business as well, using the stomp rockets that so many kids from ages 7-12 are enjoying these days. We were using fallen branches as markers to measure the length of how far each rocket flew after we "stomp launched" it. Now we already knew that dogs have smaller brains than humans. A dog sees a stick and he wants it, especially if he and his master had been playing fetch 30 or 40 yards away. My son doesn't like dogs because he has been pestered, chased and maybe threatened several times in his life by dogs, and each and every time it was a dog in the pit bull terrier family (what a surprise, a pit bull..Come at me pit bull owners, I'd be happy to argue the merits of any other breed vs. yours).

That said, a little brown terrier came out of nowhere at high speed and wanted the stick in my son's hand and started chasing him. My son was frightened and I shouted at him to drop the stick but he didn't hear me. After about 20-30 seconds he dropped the stick and the dog grabbed it and ran. The dog only wanted the stick. My son sat down and cried, scared and exasperated, complaining about the dog. When a dog is chasing a kid, 30 seconds is a lifetime.

My problem is not with the dog. My problem is that the owner who was 30 yards away, never moved, never told his dog to stop...just plain didn't do a fucking thing and the dog ran back towards him with the stick. The guy never said a word, never approached and never apologized. Now I don't know about you, but if it were my dog, leashed or unleashed and it started chasing a kid, I would have sprinted towards it and called it off or immediately leashed it or dragged it off by its collar until there was enough comfortable distance between the dog and the child. I would have felt awful and apologized profusely to the child and his or her parents.

But this guy failed to do any of that. So I yelled "Who's goddamn dog is this?" and he raised his hand as his dog returned to the fray 30 yards away. As I marinated in the glow of his stupidity, I put a hand around my ear and in mocking fashion yelled "What's that you say? Are you apologizing?" Just then his female friend or neighbor whom (I kid you not, was wearing her baby in a Bjorn) yelled back at me..."This is a dog park, Go home!"

Now this is just one of the thousands of reasons my faith in humanity pales in comparison to yours. This is not a dog park bitch. And if that dog had knocked my child over..if its paws or snout had come anywhere close to connecting to my son's person, I would have done everything in my power to maim that canine with my fist or foot. I would have beat it with the stick it ripped from my son's hand until it walked funny and shit blood for a week. I would do anything to protect him. And if you didn't have a baby attached to you, I would have headbutted some sense into you until you could whistle through the holes in your teeth line, and then called the cops on the owner of that dog and on myself for losing my patience.

But instead, I just walked away with my flustered son. I did go home. And I thought about how you would feel if a dog lunged at your papoose or was chasing your fat ass around while a small brained pit bull was nipping at your babie's booties.

I wondered as a curmudgeon, how much time I should devote to your stupidity and selfishness, and to the actions of your pal, the dog's owner. I wondered if I should write about it and ask anyone who reads it for perspective, rather than a pat on the back.

So that is what I'm doing.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

To "Wax" Philosophic

Here we are about 10-12 years into a movement and I've decided to join. Call me current. As a matter of fact, I've been a proper slave to it for several months now.Total rookie shit, I know. It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous... I'm talking about the resurgence of vinyl, LPs, wax tracks, good old records, man. I'm hooked and well past the point of no return. I'm head down in the stacks, nose to the crates, belly to the bin. I'm on craigslist digitally underlining a made up map in the garage sale section on friday nights, I'm trolling my hood every Saturday morning, scoping out brilliantly colored slightly neon signs affixed to telephone poles. Looking for arrows and numbers. Elbowing out the elderly on their silly little quests for decorative and/or commemorative plates and old curtains.  I'm everywhere I can be without cloning myself, looking for these goddamn records, leaving my bored kid in the car(windows cracked half open,people) Thrift stores, church garage or stoop or flea market is off limits. Hi. My name is Seano and I'm a curbaholic.

However.......I was a cassette guy right out of the  gates in 1980 when I joined the Columbia House 6 tapes for a penny club. I still remember the six because I still hear the tape hiss in my head from playing them to death on my GE tape recorder and later Panasonic Boom Box.That's right, Boom Box is capitalized. And yes, I never bought those two cassettes at full price and avoided prosecution, most likely by providing them with an assumed name like Ben Dover or Hugh. G. Rection.

They were Billy Squier-Don't Say No, Van Halen I, Led Zeppelin II, Led Zeppelin IV, AC/DC-Highway To Hell and The Doors-Greatest Hits. These were my go-tos, until I was old enough to ride my bike down to the Music City shop in Perinton Square Mall, with a couple weeks worth of lawn mowing money and add to my collection. Cassettes fit easily into my Cannondale bright yellow bike seat bag. I couldn't have imagined riding one handed on a 10 speed all the way back up that hill with a slippery bag of albums under my other arms. Cassettes were portable and in another year, fit perfectly in my Panasonic silver Walkman knock off. (Just like the brand Kleenex became the word for all tissues, Walkman became the word for all portable cassette players, at least in idyllic upstate NY).

My parents had a stereo, and a bunch of albums housed in an old wooden icebox in our funky little farmhouse, including Sgt. Peppers, Physical Graffiti, Big Brother and the Holding Company's Cheap Thrills and a host of others. I remember those iconic covers, wanting to know who R. Crumb was, wanting to see the pictures behind the brownstone windows on the gatefold, wanting to research all of the so called Paul-is-dead symbolism within the lineup...

I don't remember my parents having music on as much as I do at home. Nor do most of the busy people I know. My father was always working in the yard or ensconced in some art project in the barn, my mother was always taking my sister to some dance recital. I wouldn't call either of them influences for my musical ability or obsession. To the both of them, music was something you put on during conversation, when they had company, and the kids were in bed. But those albums, those covers, the big bassy warm sound that rumbled out of my Dad's big brown cloth covered speakers, that's what stuck with me. I used to pull a chair up to the ice box and play those albums, years before the ease of cassettes and blank TDKs and recording arena rock tracks off of the radio took over my listening experience, thus began to chip away at my general attention span.

Now, decades, and 2k cds in boxes and 40k mp3s later, I've returned. You'll find many vinyl appreciation blogs and youtube videos out there, and naysayers vs. pundits in every corner of the globe, volleying beliefs, insults and scientific studies that approve or disprove vinyl's sonic superiority. Which at the end of the day is all very relative, case study by case study, with speaker quality, vinyl thickness, speaker placement, tube amplification, 1300 dollar turntables vs. white ear buds all coming up for consideration.

I don't care about any of that bullshit. I found that over the past ten years or so, music listening became something I patched into my lifestyle, squeezed into a road trip big or small, affixed to my ears while I worked or played. It became invisible, fleeting and as shallow as the next track scrolled through with infinite ease. It became something to acquire, peruse and discard or file away in a dead hollow cloud nobody can see or figure out the location of. Smaller, Faster, not even there, but will come when you call it, when you will it to appear, for your own personal function or form.

Multitasking. Some call it a revelation. I call it a killer. Why not stretch your mind and body to their limits? You'll get it done sooner, faster. sign off on it. On to the next. Bitch slap your bullet points, bully your bucket list, bring your " A" game to all of the games people play and watch all of your critical synapses struggle against each other in a cage match to the death. I'm not good at it, but surely fell/fall victim/champion to it as we all have.

So, I'm going to strip it back down, I'm going to indent my lovely couch with my lovely ass a moment or two after I split a gatefold open, engulfed with a waft of mildew and memories slide that black circle out of that worn sleeve, and plunk it down on my 1979 Pioneer PL-512 turntable. I'm going to drop that arm, and look at the cover and the liner notes, while I listen. And while I do that, besides partaking in an adult beverage, I'm going to do fuck all else.

I'm going to repeat this heroic, primitive series of events often, while some of you are bluetoothing while you compare organic tomatoes, shuffling while you bodycycle. I'm going to be here enjoying the crackle of the dust in the odd groove, the risk of skip, the warm bruise of the bass blanket. And these are my roots, these are the steps I must retrace. This is the emotion I must court, date and score with.

However....A vinyl nerd I am not. I have adhered to some personal guidelines after several run ins with hipsters of a previously unseen level of pretense and snobbery. I have arrived at auctions or musty garages to find too many an archaeologist of wax in my way, and I in theirs.  My rules are as follows:

1) Unless an album is on my holy grail vinyl trail, I'm not spending more than 8 dollars on it. This means I don't buy new releases on vinyl. I'm not spending 35 dollars on a new pair of Levis let alone a new album.

2) I don't buy re-releases on vinyl. Sure I really want that Stooges-Fun House I saw the other day. It may or may not sound better than the original, but I want the original. Call me an antiquer, people.If the original is found, see #1.

3) If at all possible, I prefer to "find" vinyl by accident, rather than go to a record store that has something that I covet nicely displayed. Record stores are down the list for me and mostly a last resort behind suburban garage sales(I say suburban because 9 out of 10 times a suburbanite just wants to get rid of that stack of albums his wife keeps loudly reminding him to get rid of, and therefore has no idea/or the disposable income not to care about what he has.), thrift stores in the middle of nowhere(the further away from the city, the better) and finally estate sales where the word HOARDER has been mentioned in the listing.

It really is about finding a bargain NOT for their collector/resale value but so I can buy MORE albums with the wad which I've allotted for myself. I plan on giving my son everything I have in my will with a STRONG addendum that if he doesn't share the passion when he is of age he may not give away or sell my collection but must leave it for an heir that is sure to appreciate it. So who cares if its a first pressing, or still sealed or has a NM on a listing, fuck that! Its about the music! Besides, that crazy notion is reserved for my 4000 comic books.

I would love to hear some/any stories of your happy accidents on your own personal vinyl acquisitive journeys.

Mine are posted on instagram.

Thanks to Derek and Derek and Alex for fueling this fire.

Monday, August 04, 2014


Oh Beyonce, you're barely human. You're above us all, like a glittering pinata that none of the ghettotastic swingle ladies could ever break open with a thick swing. Your golden, diamond encrusted horn, you toot so frequently. Your faux empowerment jingles are merely just a front for your whack tracks of ebonic prestige....Your latest obliteration of the English language should give all welfare mothers even more hope...

It stay Yoncé, oh Yoncé in that lingerie
On that chardonnay, it’s gonna touch down like a runway
I’m Texas forever like Bun B, and I’m redboned yo
I’m really rit like Donjae, I’m camo in here yo
These thots can’t clock me nowadays
You wish I was your pound cake
Boy you know I look good as fuck
You wish I was your babymomma
Want me to come around and give you good karma, but no
We escalate, up in this bitch like elevators
Of course sometimes shit go down
When it’s a billion dollars on an elevator
Of course sometimes shit go down
When it’s a billion dollars on an elevator
(Ha, ha, God damn, God damn, God damn)

Ah yes. Such poetry, such selflessness and endearment, such word wizardry. Why not just cut to the chase and embalm yourself and your deity of a husband with gold bullion, pepper your dermises with rhinestones and rubies and put yourself on display in impenetrable, untaggable glass cases and travel the worlds worst neighborhoods, like the false idols of a new generation. Put yourself on a real tour, Bey. The needy can line up like a fucking church healing pray to you in hopes of you showering them with the gifts of wisdom and strength needed to break the endless circle of poverty and join the hood exodus in favor of a better life, with a white picket fence and a private yacht for all.